Ironically, it was a quote from one of our favorite movies, The Shawshank Redemption, that compelled me to get my shit together and get on with things. Get busy living or get busy dying.
How one woman used #running to help survive the loss of her husband and raise two boys on her own.
I realized that since my husband died in 2012, I have been surviving, not thriving. I am ready to change that.
#thriving #survivingtothriving #keeprunning #runningthroughgrief
What I saw actually caused me to stumble a couple of steps. The clouds were in the form of a giant, wide Cross. The Cross looked like it was shooting up from behind the mountain and straight into the sky. #afterlife #proofofheaven
It has been six years since the tragedy at Sandy Hook and there have been numerous mass shootings since then. I continue to experience extreme sadness every time there is a shooting. However, none of them have affected me as strongly as Sandy Hook. Perhaps Sandy Hook affected me more because my son was the same age as those children. Perhaps it was because it was the first big mass shooting after losing my husband. I don’t know. All I know is that I still, six years later, think about the children whose lives were lost that day and their parents. #runningthroughgrief #sandyhook #rememberingsandyhook #grief
California is my home. It is my sons’ home now. And our home is on fire. I grieve for my husband everyday. But this week I have grieved more for California. My running through grief has turned from running outside through the grief of losing my husband to running indoors through the grief of this massive destruction. #Californiastrong #Californiawildfires
My sons and I recently welcomed a new member to our family, a beautiful white lab named Aspen. But her arrival has put me back into my Widow’s funk. As much happiness as Aspen brings to my boys, and admittedly me at times, her arrival has also been a bitter reminder that I am alone. The past two weeks have shone a light on the fact that I am raising two boys, and now a puppy, on my own. It’s just me. I don’t have a partner anymore. I never really forget this but sometimes I can ignore it. However, in this time of Puppy-Ville, I can’t ignore it. #puppy #keeprunning #solomom
Grief counselors will tell you that guilt is a natural part of grief. It’s a natural part of the process and the goal is not to get stuck. The difficult part for me was that I found it impossible not to get stuck in the negative feelings of grief without the assistance of my Therapist and I was not ready to voice these things I felt guilty about. #grief #guilt #widowhood #widow #death
Summer, for me, is the easiest time to be a Widow with kids. It’s the only time of year where I can somewhat catch my breath. It’s the time of year when I can spend more time with my kids. It’s the season where I am actually, ever so slightly, a better, more fun Mom. It’s the only time when I can actually relax for more than one hour a month.
For that reason, I believe that Gordie hand-picked Kevin and asked God to put Kevin in our path. Kevin has the qualities that Gordie would have wanted in a substitute Dad for his boys: kind, generous, a little wild, funny, a passion for sports, a guy who can fix things, and a bit of a rebellious side. When I am running, I often think about Gordie and Kevin. In another lifetime, I think they would have been good friends. Sometimes on those runs it makes me sad that they never actually met. But I know that they will meet one day…hopefully not for a good 50 years. I can tell you what will happen at that first meeting.
My plea to anyone considering suicide is to think about your family…and family does not always mean blood relatives. Even if you have a horrible family, there are probably other people in your life who love you and who would be thrown into a world of grief if you died. #suicide #mentalillness