Remembering Sandy Hook

Dec 14th, 2018 Death, Grief, Kids Grief, Life, Loss Staci Maher Ball

It has been six years since the tragedy at Sandy Hook and there have been numerous mass shootings since then. I continue to experience extreme sadness every time there is a shooting. However, none of them have affected me as strongly as Sandy Hook. Perhaps Sandy Hook affected me more because my son was the same age as those children. Perhaps it was because it was the first big mass shooting after losing my husband. I don’t know. All I know is that I still, six years later, think about the children whose lives were lost that day and their parents. #runningthroughgrief #sandyhook #rememberingsandyhook #grief

Return to Widow Funk

Oct 4th, 2018 Death, Grief, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Solo Parenting Staci Maher Ball

My sons and I recently welcomed a new member to our family, a beautiful white lab named Aspen. But her arrival has put me back into my Widow’s funk. As much happiness as Aspen brings to my boys, and admittedly me at times, her arrival has also been a bitter reminder that I am alone. The past two weeks have shone a light on the fact that I am raising two boys, and now a puppy, on my own. It’s just me. I don’t have a partner anymore. I never really forget this but sometimes I can ignore it. However, in this time of Puppy-Ville, I can’t ignore it. #puppy #keeprunning #solomom

Guilt and Blame

Aug 23rd, 2018 Grief, Inspiration, Life, Loss Staci Maher Ball

Grief counselors will tell you that guilt is a natural part of grief. It’s a natural part of the process and the goal is not to get stuck. The difficult part for me was that I found it impossible not to get stuck in the negative feelings of grief without the assistance of my Therapist and I was not ready to voice these things I felt guilty about. #grief #guilt #widowhood #widow #death

A Tale of Two Dads – In Honor of Father’s Day

Jun 15th, 2018 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Running, Solo Parenting Staci Maher Ball

For that reason, I believe that Gordie hand-picked Kevin and asked God to put Kevin in our path. Kevin has the qualities that Gordie would have wanted in a substitute Dad for his boys: kind, generous, a little wild, funny, a passion for sports, a guy who can fix things, and a bit of a rebellious side. When I am running, I often think about Gordie and Kevin. In another lifetime, I think they would have been good friends. Sometimes on those runs it makes me sad that they never actually met. But I know that they will meet one day…hopefully not for a good 50 years. I can tell you what will happen at that first meeting.

Unexplained Death

May 10th, 2018 Death, Grief, Life, Loss Staci Maher Ball

This week a 15 year old boy drowned in a pool at a local highschool in my town. I have been unable to get him and his family out of my mind. I do not pretend to know the grief of losing a child but I do know what it’s like to lose someone in a pool. Death, in any circumstance, is horrible. Death by…

National Widows Day

May 4th, 2018 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Life, Loss Staci Maher Ball

As I peddled my indoor bike, I thought about it. Maybe National Widows Day is intended to bring awareness about Widowhood. So, I asked myself “what would I want people to be aware of regarding Widowhood?” Here is what I came up with.

Good-bye Sweet Boy

Mar 31st, 2018 Death, Grief, Kids Grief, Life, Loss Staci Maher Ball

I feel like I have been catapulted back into grief. Although, I never really left it. Losing Ralphie is like losing another piece of Gordie. It’s like losing the last piece of my life before kids. It was just Gordie, Ralphie, and me in Colorado for five years before we had kids. Now both of them are gone.

Six Years Later…a Widow’s New Perspective

Mar 1st, 2018 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Life, Loss, Running, Solo Parenting Staci Maher Ball

One of the main reasons I write about my life and experience is to help others. I firmly believe that my husband would want me to do this. So, as I am about start my 7th year as a Widow, I will attempt to pass to you the perspective, outlook, and approach to life that I have gained in the last six years. My hope is that it will make you stop, think, and perhaps change without having to pay the price that I did.

Ring Relocation

Jan 22nd, 2018 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Life, Loss Staci Maher Ball

Relocating or removing a wedding ring might sound like no big deal to someone who has not experienced the death of a spouse. But to those of us who have, it’s a decision and event that is charged with emotional angst. Nearly all widowed spouses toy with the questions “should I remove my ring?” and “when should I remove my ring?”