Out of Hiding

Apr 26th, 2017 Death, Grief, Loss, Running staciballconsultingllc@gmail.com

For the five weeks following Gordie’s death, I hid. But when it’s your best friend’s birthday, it’s time to come out of hiding. #girlsnightout, #grieving, #grief, #landoftheliving, #running, #girlfriends, #whitewine

Five Years Later

Mar 1st, 2017 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Running staciballconsultingllc@gmail.com

Five years later, I am surviving the death of my husband. My sons are surviving the loss of their Dad. But I am still running through grief. #running, #survivinggrief, #grief, #kidsgrief, #fiveyears, #movingforward, #lifegoeson

Image courtesy of Google Images.

Pop Tarts and Starbursts

Feb 1st, 2017 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Running Staci Maher Ball

For the first several weeks after Gordie died, I left his beloved F-150 truck at the Estate. After a few weeks, I needed the truck to get some bigger items, like Nathan’s bike, from the Estate to my parents’ house. So, I had my Dad drive me to the Estate one afternoon after work so that I could get some stuff and the truck. What I didn’t expect was pop tarts and starbursts. #poptarts, #starbursts, #kidsgrief, #running, #grief, #Ford, #F150

divers in the pool

Send in the Divers

Jan 26th, 2017 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Running Staci Maher Ball

One rainy day at the end of March, there was a message on my voicemail from the Sergeant in charge of the investigation into Gordie’s death. Suicide had been ruled out but there was otherwise no clue on how Gordie had fallen into the pool and died. He would like to send in the divers.

The Rumor Mill

Jan 20th, 2017 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Running Staci Maher Ball

Having your husband die in the town where both of you grew up has its upside and downside. The upside is that if your friends and family still live there, you have the platinum level support system. The downside is that a lot of people know you, know your husband, and know both of your families. It quickly became widely known that the cause of Gordie’s death was a mystery. And the rumor mill started. Immediately. #gossip #Danville #raybanaviators #rumorhasit

50 Shades of Frustration

Jan 13th, 2017 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Running Staci Maher Ball

Here I was, a widow desperately in the mood, and desperately wanting my husband, and there was nothing I could do about it. It was beyond ironic. My advice to people is don’t brush off your significant other too much. Don’t think you can always have sex tomorrow night. Because sadly, I learned that there is not always a tomorrow. #fiftyshadesofgrey #nottonight

Your Urns Are Ready

Jan 5th, 2017 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Life, Loss, Running Staci Maher Ball

I drove to the Mortuary with a slightly sick feeling in my stomach. The Director had my four urns on his desk. My beautiful cousin had created the most incredible urns for us. There was one big one with a Raiders logo on it. The second urn contained the other half of his ashes and was a disposable one so that we could scatter them in a place with special meaning. The other two urns were tiny little replicas of the big Raiders urn…one for each of my sons. #memorialgallery.com #urns #Raiders #grief #buryingmyhusband

The Christmas Choice

Dec 21st, 2016 Death, Grief, Inspiration, Kids Grief, Loss, Running Staci Maher Ball

I have strategically created a balance of traditions that are a mix of traditions BGD (before Gordie’s death) and traditions AGD (after Gordie’s death). Even though I felt like clinging to the past in that first Christmas of our new life, I felt it was important to create some new traditions to help my sons and me move forward. Five years in, my sons look forward to the old and the new traditions. #Christmastraditions #Christmasafterloss #Choosetocontinue #Helpmykidsmoveforward #Christmassucks