How one woman used #running to help survive the loss of her husband and raise two boys on her own.
Grief counselors will tell you that guilt is a natural part of grief. It’s a natural part of the process and the goal is not to get stuck. The difficult part for me was that I found it impossible not to get stuck in the negative feelings of grief without the assistance of my Therapist and I was not ready to voice these things I felt guilty about. #grief #guilt #widowhood #widow #death
Summer, for me, is the easiest time to be a Widow with kids. It’s the only time of year where I can somewhat catch my breath. It’s the time of year when I can spend more time with my kids. It’s the season where I am actually, ever so slightly, a better, more fun Mom. It’s the only time when I can actually relax for more than one hour a month.
For that reason, I believe that Gordie hand-picked Kevin and asked God to put Kevin in our path. Kevin has the qualities that Gordie would have wanted in a substitute Dad for his boys: kind, generous, a little wild, funny, a passion for sports, a guy who can fix things, and a bit of a rebellious side. When I am running, I often think about Gordie and Kevin. In another lifetime, I think they would have been good friends. Sometimes on those runs it makes me sad that they never actually met. But I know that they will meet one day…hopefully not for a good 50 years. I can tell you what will happen at that first meeting.
As I peddled my indoor bike, I thought about it. Maybe National Widows Day is intended to bring awareness about Widowhood. So, I asked myself “what would I want people to be aware of regarding Widowhood?” Here is what I came up with.
One of the main reasons I write about my life and experience is to help others. I firmly believe that my husband would want me to do this. So, as I am about start my 7th year as a Widow, I will attempt to pass to you the perspective, outlook, and approach to life that I have gained in the last six years. My hope is that it will make you stop, think, and perhaps change without having to pay the price that I did.
Relocating or removing a wedding ring might sound like no big deal to someone who has not experienced the death of a spouse. But to those of us who have, it’s a decision and event that is charged with emotional angst. Nearly all widowed spouses toy with the questions “should I remove my ring?” and “when should I remove my ring?”
It seemed like such a typical night for our Family. Only it wasn’t. It was the last night for the family that I thought I would have the rest of my life. #ilovemyfamily, #lifeisprecious, #familytime, #lifeisunexpected, #running, #grief
Every kid would love to throw the first pitch at Opening Day for their Little League…except when you get asked only because your Dad died. #baseball, #littleleague, #openingday, #grief, #kidsgrief
In late March, just weeks after Gordie died, I got my first taste of what it would be like to be a solo Mom of boys. Nathan was in a Cub Scouts den and his Pinewood Derby race was just a few weeks following Gordie’s death. We had purchased the car making kit over a month ago and it was sitting on Gordie’s desk. I had no idea how to build that thing. #cubscouts, #pinewoodderby, #momofboys, #soloparenting, #solomom
Five years later, I am surviving the death of my husband. My sons are surviving the loss of their Dad. But I am still running through grief. #running, #survivinggrief, #grief, #kidsgrief, #fiveyears, #movingforward, #lifegoeson
