The drive home from work was beautiful.  It was a sunny Friday afternoon in March and I was full of excitement for a great weekend with the boys and Gordie.  Tomorrow was the first day of practice for Nathan’s little league team on which Gordie was to be one of the Assistant Coaches.  It would be his first time coaching baseball for one of our sons.  The weather was suppose to be nice all weekend.  I thought maybe we’ll take a walk this weekend, maybe Nathan can even ride his bike while we push Wyatt in his toy car.  Maybe we’ll get pizza tonight after Gordie finishes working on his remodeling project at my parents’ house.  Maybe we’ll watch one of the episodes of “The Firm” that we had recorded after the boys go to bed.

I did not realize that my life was just minutes from changing forever.

I drove into the gates of the Estate that we were renting from Gordie’s family.  Gordie’s truck was outside parked in its usual spot.  I got out of my car and headed to the front steps.  Ralphie, our 11 year old Jack Russell Terrier, was on the porch by himself.

That’s odd, I thought.

I walked into the house and it was silent.  I looked out the picture windows at the enormous backyard.  It was empty.

Gordie and the boys must be playing somewhere on the estate,  I thought, I’ll go change my clothes and join them.

I started walking upstairs.  Ralphie ran ahead of me and started barking at the top of the stairs.  I started walking down the hall and heard my two year old son crying in his crib.  I walked into his room and he was sitting in his crib in his jammies and sleep sack.  It was 4:25pm.   He should not have been sleeping at this time of day, and certainly not in his jammies.  Wyatt generally went down for a nap in the early afternoon and Gordie always woke him up at 2:30pm so that he could pick Nathan up from school at 3pm.

I again thought this is odd but wondered if Gordie had put Wyatt down for a second nap since Wyatt had a fever that morning before I left for work.  I changed Wyatt’s diaper and clothes and went downstairs.  I went out to the backyard.  It was strangely silent.  I started to walk around the grounds calling out Nathan and Gordie’s names.  Nothing.  I went back int the house and searched the house:  looking in the basement and in rooms that we did not use.  Again, nothing.  I took out my cell phone and dialed Gordie’s cell phone.  I heard it ringing in the kitchen.  I walked in there and both of his cell phones were on the counter.  I started to get angry:  why on earth would he leave Wyatt sleeping in the house and go off somewhere on the estate?   I got into my car and started driving around the estate.  It’s over 60 acres so I drove all around it.  There was no sign of Gordie or Nathan.  I started to feel a little panicky.  I drove back to the house and ran in calling Gordie and Nathan’s names.  Nothing.  On my way back out to the car I noticed the baby monitor on the front step.

OK I thought, Gordie jogged around the house while Wyatt was sleeping.

But where were he and Nathan now?  I drove around the Estate again.  There was no sign of Gordie and Nathan.   I drove back to the house and went back in with Wyatt.  As I walked in the front door I realized that Nathan’s backpack was not  in the place he usually dumped it when he came home from school.  I grabbed my phone and checked to see if there was a message from the school.  No messages.  I called my Dad.

“Hello?” my Dad answered.

“Dad, did you get a call from Nathan’s school today about him not being picked up”? I asked.

“What?”  my Dad seemed confused.

“Nathan and Gordie are missing.  Wyatt was in his bed when I came home.  I don’t see Nathan’s backpack.  Did the school call you today?”  I asked.

“No Staci, they didn’t”, my Dad replied.

“Dad, I am worried, can you please find the number for the school and call to see if Nathan was picked up?”  I asked.

“Yes, of course, right away.  I will call you back”, my Dad said.

My cell phone rang right after I hung up with my Dad.

“Mrs Ball, this is Nathan’s school.  We are just making sure you know that he’s in After Care right now.”

It was at that exact moment that my world started to shatter.  I started crying and screaming “Oh my God!  My husband is missing!  I don’t know where he is!  Please keep my son there until I can have my parents pick him up.”.

I remember the woman from the school telling me “I will pray for you”.

I hung up and called my Dad.  As soon as he answered I started screaming “Dad, Gordie is missing.  Nathan is at school.  You need to pick him up and then come over here right away”.

My Dad’s next words were “You need to call the police”.

I hung up and dialed 911.

“911, what is your emergency”.

“My name is Staci Ball. I live at the Ball Estate in Alamo.  My husband is missing.  My baby was in his crib alone when I got home from work.  My 1st grader was not picked up from school.  My husband is missing. “

I don’t remember much about the call other than that I was afraid they would not help me because I always thought that someone had to be missing 24 hours before law enforcement would help.  But the dispatcher asked me some questions and said she was sending the Sheriff.

After I hung up with 911, I called my Sister in Law and said “Gordie’s missing.  The police are on their way.  Please call everyone and tell them to come here”.

About ten minutes later the Estate looked like a crime scene.  There were multiple police vehicles including a K-9 unit.  There was also a police helicopter flying over the Estate.  My parents and older son arrived as did all my in-laws.

The Sheriff started asking me questions.  What did I come home and find?  What was Gordie’s normal routine?  Were there surveillance cameras on the property?  Was his cell phone missing?  Where was his cell phone?  Questions, questions, and more questions.

I remember telling them that I thought he must have been kidnapped.  I told them that I was certain he was jogging around the little road around the house after he put my younger son down for a nap.  He told me he was going to that before I left for work in the morning.   I also had found the baby monitor on the steps which is where he put it when he jogged around the house while Wyatt was sleeping.  I told the Sheriff that someone could have kidnapped him while he was doing that.  They asked if Gordie had any enemies.  I mentioned that someone who worked at the Estate had been recently fired.  I gave them phone numbers for people who worked at the Estate.

They started searching the house.  I asked my In-Laws to show them all of the back rooms and secret closets in this 100 year old house we lived in.

I remember that my husbands Step-Mother took my kids and my nephew into the kitchen and closed the door once the police had finished searching in there, trying to keep the kids out of the chaos.  But my first grade son knew that Daddy was missing.

I do not remember much else during the time they were searching.  I was numb and in shock.  The next thing I remember was a policeman coming inside from the back door and whispering to the guy in charge who was asking me some more questions.  He told me that he would be back.  I stopped him and asked them if they had found something.  He told me “I cannot say right now”.  My life started shattering a little bit more.

My brother in law, my father in law, and my mother in law just looked at each other.  We just stood there in the family room with the incredible view not knowing what to do.  Finally, I could not take it anymore. I ran out the back door, and saw several policemen on the walk that led to the pool.  They would not let me by them.  They said I had to go back into the house.  I begged for them to tell me something.  All they said was “Go back into the house, the Sargent will be there as soon as he can”.

I went in and fell to the ground sobbing.

Sometime later the Sargent came in and said they found a body in the pool.  My mind raced.  For the first split second I thought What?  The pool? and in the next split second realized he had said “a body” which to me meant not alive.  He then told me they had not  yet identified the body.  I remember saying “I think we all know who it is” and then just sank to my knees and almost threw up.

Not too long later the Sargent told me it was Gordie they found in the pool and that he was dead.

“I have to tell Nathan” I told my family.

I don’t remember how Nathan ended up on the front porch but I looked up and he was out there.  He looked scared and confused.  I remember that it was dark out there.  He was by himself.  I walked out there.  My family followed.  I knelt down and said “Nathan, Daddy died.”.  Nathan has the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes and in that moment they grew even bigger as he looked at me.  “What?” he asked “Daddy died?  But I want my Daddy” and he started to cry.  I hugged him and said “I know, me too”. My little six year old boy just cried in my arms.  It was the worse moment of my entire life.

On Friday March 2, 2012, my life, a life that I had taken for granted and had never dreamed could be shattered so freakishly, did not just forever change, it ended.